That’s right, I’ve said it. I’ve put it out there for the world to read. Parenting is a horrible, dirty, underpaid, undervalued job and right now I down right hate it.
I wonder how many of you are nodding your heads and how many of you have disgusted, horrified or pitying looks on your faces.
Let’s be honest here, with ourselves if not with anyone else. I bet there are days you can’t believe you signed yourself up for the whole parenting gig. That you can’t help but imagine spending a day without any arguments or drama, that you even find yourself looking at your children with something akin to disgust.
Of course we all love our children and at times even get those feelings of wonder, love and pride in our offspring. But, to tell the truth, though I love my child fully and unconditionally, there are times I find myself not liking him very much. (Or perhaps not liking his actions?)
Now is the time to bombard me with guilt, pity, advice etc., but after all the reading I’ve done – blogs, parenting magazines/journals and books- I have to admit this seems to be rather normal.
It’s an almost painful stereotype to go through this stage of parenting and experience these emotions. It is such a humbling experience to realize I am not immune to the same trap and just as confused as to the way out.
Recently, I commented on another blog – http://raisinguphumanns.com/2015/02/13/what-i-see-in-my-mind-and-my-childs-reality/ – where I applauded her patience. Her reply was that it had ‘taken almost 5 years to figure it out’”. (5 years! I hope I make it that long! )
This got me thinking about how we all struggle with parenting, that it is not easy and we defiantly do not have all (if any) of the answers. Yet, it is a path we have all trod down, with somewhat the same general experiences and emotions. You would think someone could have figured out the key by now. (I know I would pay anything for that key right about now!)
But maybe there is no key, and no matter how many books we read or advise we receive (unsolicited or not) – there is no answer and no one way to deal with things. We are all just bumbling along doing the best we can at any given time.
Perhaps the most important thing we can do is forgive ourselves for our emotions. Forgive ourselves for being anything other than the ‘perfect’ parents we expect to be. To make a choice, each and every day to do the best we can and remember to have patience. Patience in ourselves and our children, for they are learning too, right along with us.
And when we feel that tiny hand slip into ours or those sloppy wet kisses and ‘’I love you, Mommy/Daddy’’, we know it is all worth it… even when the next moment the ‘demon-child’ returns.