*EDIT: The posts mentioned below have been deleted during a recent reconstruction of this blog in an attempt to bring the subject matter more inline with the original blog concept*
After my last post, I went out for a great brunch with close friends who basically told me to stop beating myself up. It really made me realize that my posts have been really full of self-loathing, doubt and general moaning about myself. A lot of bitter self indulgence really.
I needed to take a break, re-group and start looking at my life in a different way. After a very stressful weekend, I have come to a place of inner calm. It doesn’t last all the time, it isn’t there every moment of my day, but I am definitely feeling a lot calmer and patient lately. I am able to let things go easier and remember that I am a good mother, wife, friend and co-worker.
At times it is so easy to become over-whelmed by self doubt. Of course there are always things to work on, but on the whole I know I am a good, kind, compassionate, loving person. Time I shared that with my family and myself more.
Also, I have been focusing a lot more on this pregnancy and baby girl inside. After all of the stress during this pregnancy, I am finally able to fully enjoy this time. I am feeling calm yet excited about the upcoming birth. Though I would really like to take an earlier maternity leave, it isn’t something I can afford, so I will continue to work.
Trying to remain calm and stress free for the baby, my family and myself has been difficult at times, especially with my mothers condition continuing to deteriorate. But somehow I seem to have gone inside myself and found some inner peace that gives me strength. It helps me to maintain being calm even when everything around me is in chaos.
Too much introspection at times can be the ‘wrong’ thing to do, hence my blogging hiatus. I was shinning to much light on my faults and forgetting to focus on my strengths. My blog is fast becoming more a ‘diary of a moaning mommy’ than the informative, funny parenting posts I envisioned. About time I got back to what I mean to write about.. less diary, more writing.