Reflection, Contemplation and Expectations

Since Christmas I have spent a lot of time reflecting on 2015 and contemplating our decisions and expectations for the future.

I have come to the conclusion that a lot of unhappiness in our lives, a lot of the stress, anxiety, arguments etc… are the product of unmet expectations, of ourselves and others. Therefore, I am making a change for the future. I am making a promise to myself and my family to release us all from expectation.

It is amazing how much can be resolved just by realizing that most of the issues have nothing to do with what actually is, but with the expectation that what IS should be  different. The problem comes from not accepting what already IS and instead becoming upset and reactive by what you wish was different. This does not change what already IS, it only makes the situation worse. By expecting that things need to be different than they already are, we cannot see the opportunities to make things better.

This also applies to our expectations of others, especially our children. I have come to understand and acknowledge that a lot of the conflict I have with our children, especially Goose, comes from unrealistic expectations of them. As well as being unrealistic, they are also expectations I have never expressed to them. I have never taken the time to explain or speak about our expectations, so how can I then become upset with them for not meeting these expectations?

It is amazing to realize how often we become annoyed with our loved ones for not meeting these unvoiced expectations. How unfair, how hard it must be for them to understand when we suddenly turn on them, for no apparent reason. Yet, we also need to be gentle with ourselves and the expectations, be them conscious or unconscious, we have for ourselves to be the best parent, wife, friend etc…

For 2016 I choose to be more compassionate towards my loved ones and myself. I choose to be realistic in any expectations that I do have. To voice those expectations and discuss them with my loved ones. I give myself the permission to let go of unrealistic expectations of myself and my family.

I send love, peace and happiness to each and everyone at the end of this year and the beginning of the new.. Happy 2016 Everyone, be gentle with yourselves, be compassionate, be kind.. be the person you want to be, choose your words and your deeds with care. Love one another. Find your bliss.



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