There have been a lot of things going through my mind since New Years. Yes, though that was only 5 days ago, it is amazing how many half finished ideas I have been pondering. Writing ideas, parenting ideas, travel ideas, ‘work’ ideas, fitness ideas, creative ideas, financial ideas… the list goes on and on. My current issue is being able to solidify these ideas into a plan of action.
A mere 5 days ago, these ideas were exciting. They filled me with a new found sense of purpose. I was amazed at the various opportunities my own brain somehow came up with, the paths I could take to achieve our dreams. Yet, as the days have gone by and the ideas swirled and collided in my mind, I have found myself becoming more anxious and confused.
The simple problem I have come up against is the basic inability to choose an idea, or 2 and form some sort of action plan. The last thing I want is to slip back into the same old routine and let these opportunities pass by. Yet there is also the almost crippling fear of making the ‘wrong’ choice. Of spending my time, energy and resources on something that will only lead to a ‘dead end’.
Combined with my inability to commit to any course of action, is the guilt associated with some of my contemplations, especially regarding parenting choices. It doesn’t help that I have been spending far to much time researching various parenting methods instead of just getting on with parenting. Talk about a load of self-inflicted parenting guilt, without even the ability to gorge myself on left-over Christmas chocolates and booze. (Why did I have to choose January as my dry and get healthy month?) We really should allow ourselves a few post New Years weeks of guilty resolution breaking binges before committing ourselves to our personal make-overs.
Therefore, I have decided to give myself permission NOT to make a plan of action for the time being. Instead I am going to give myself the gift of guilt free time to mull thing over. (with a sneaky hot chocolate or two…yum) I will attempt to solidify a few ideas, share them with you, my dear readers, and hopefully come up with a plan, a goal, a course of action. Here’s to a wonderful 2016, which I have already dubbed – The Year of Preparation.